Are we to believe Priya’s 12-year-old nerdy sister who is into fantasy books hasn’t already read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe? Priya, I assure you, she has.Find the book where Santa Claus shows up to hand out weapons to kids? Okay, this is some bullshit because clearly the only part of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe anybody remembers from childhood is the descriptions of Turkish delight.Children who, uh, apparently make snide jokes about James Patterson novels?.Thus, I have come to the conclusion these are in fact supposed to be children. What woman in her right mind is asking strange men in New York City to come find her? Ride the subway like once, it’ll happen and it won’t be pleasant.Okay, the Strand clerk called him “kid,” again I ask … how old is he?.Ah, yes, who among us does not love to seek refuge from the blight of holiday capitalism in a … store? Specifically a store that is currently under fire because its owner reportedly bought Amazon stock with a PPP loan.

How old is this guy supposed to be? 16? 20? 25? High school? College? Where are his parents? Good sweater, though.Was Timothée Chalamet unavailable for this role? Did the casting call just have a picture of his sweet little face under the requirements section?.It is a COVID winter, bitch! I’m staying home because I’d eventually like this end for us all, but I am not trying to envision the December we’re not getting this year. Why does this narrator want me to cry? “Imagine you’re in New York and it’s Christmas and you’re surrounded by people.” No, narrator, I absolutely will not.Episode 1: “Dash”ĭid Netflix just already have the rights for Joni Mitchell’s “River” kicking around the office? And before you take to the comments or Twitter to yell at me and tell me I overanalyzed a sweet, silly show about teens … yes, I know. Here are mine, in chronological order, if you care to read along during your screening. It’s got teens running absolutely wild in empty New York City landmarks. (For whatever that is worth, I did feel compelled to watch it all in a single sitting.) It’s got holiday cheer and absentee parents. It’s very sweet, but also in that classic holiday entertainment way it is grounded absolutely 0 percent in reality, which forced me to spend four hours binging it while simultaneously screaming at my television. Which means there’s eight whole episodes of a teenage Christmas rom-com, Dash & Lily, waiting for you on Netflix. Happy holidays, it’s the middle of November. Photo: ALISON COHEN ROSA/NETFLIX/ALISON COHEN ROSA/NETFLIX

Netflix dash and lily